How to decide to make an important decision. How to learn to make decisions correctly

Garden and landscape

Throughout his life, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to make choices throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy for home, what TV series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such small everyday issues can put a person before a choice, the result of which can depend on one’s mood or even one’s fate.

Big and small problems

If you look at it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choice options. It’s good if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color is the tie would be better suited to the shirt... Such little things usually do not leave a trace in the memory. It’s another matter when a person’s future life is decided by choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether to tie your fate with the person you like or invest in a business. In these cases, the price of the issue is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person risks being left without lunch, then the price for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.

For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and ability to resolve the situation.

Why is it important to make a quick decision?

Every person wants something more in this life: to build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - just take it and do it. But there is small nuance: the possibilities have become so vast that a person is at a loss for choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go towards their intended goal. Therefore, before you do the right decision, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is structured in such a way that it is not “the big eats the small”, but “the nimble eats the slow.” Speed ​​is everything. A small but actively developing company can unexpectedly absorb a clumsy giant.

In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help you overcome doubts and make the right decision.

Time to choose

If you have time to think about each question, you should think through each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. How more versions, the greater the chances of finding the best option. You can even write down on paper different situations and their possible solutions. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think about everything.

Essentially, the choice is unique property man that nature gave him. With its help, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make choices himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps you make the right decision and how to take an important step?

Fear of failure

When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failure, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, it is this moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before quickly making the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a painful burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.

In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will talk about it differently.

The world through the prism of beliefs

We see our world through the prism of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is necessary. On its basis, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one must not give up, one must not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the current situation. “I can’t do anything. I little man. I have nothing left except work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent you from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in yourself, and deprive you of choice. Because of such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness; we simply reject it.

Is there a choice?

Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But what it will be like, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened,” “I couldn’t restrain myself.” In other words, the person himself does not understand how he committed this or that action, and as a result cannot understand the consequences.

In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform actions that are competent in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and clear understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis for effective choice.

Correct criteria

The main question today that many people ask themselves is: “How to get out of this or that situation?” Experts are confident that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria that we define for ourselves.

For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, dark-skinned, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how do you know if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.

Basic criteria for the right choice

For the right choice the task should be filled with many sub-points: what kind of relationship you want, what kind of character the chosen one should be. And you need to carry this goal in your heart and understand that you are the one worthy of it. Under no circumstances should there be any doubt. You need to believe that you will definitely meet a worthy person on your way. It is important to look at internal qualities: will you be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and calmness, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.

Trapped

Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require informed decisions, for which you need to be prepared. And this depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any deadlock situation requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. There is no need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But, as they say, you learn from mistakes. And this is the kind of experience that brings wisdom.

Choice without lot

How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing down arguments in table form. But what if the result is a 50x50 proportion? How to find the right solution to a problem without resorting to drawing lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:


When making a choice, you should look several steps ahead: what results will this or that result lead to. The only correct decision must come consciously, after carefully weighing all possible consequences.

Hopeless situations

Surely each of us has encountered unforeseen situations that required immediate decision-making: some were able to accept them, while others were not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and mistakes, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave due to fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so as not to pay the price for unawareness and ignorance later.

How to make the right decision

There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, you need to remain calm before making the right decision. After all, how the problem is resolved depends on this. Gather your thoughts, look into your subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of the current situation. And what solution comes to mind first is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, since being in an unbalanced state can lead to rash choices.

So, what helps you make the right decision? This is life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconscious, situation analysis and logical thinking.

A person’s entire life consists of a constant need to make all kinds of decisions, from choosing products in a store to the global existential choice of one’s own life path and purpose. In the first case, the decision made does not have much impact on a person’s life.

But significant situations of choice often frighten and confuse a person, and it is in such circumstances that it is necessary to be able to adequately assess the current situation and take action. necessary actions that will help you make the right choice. Decision making is a process that has a certain structure and characteristics, and if you want to know how to make the right decision, you should carefully analyze the information and use the tips that you will receive in this article.

Decision making means choosing the most effective course of action from possible others., in the process of which thinking, emotions and will, character and temperament, and human motivation are involved. All these factors can either help or hinder good decision making. Scientific research characteristics of information processing have shown that there are certain tendencies of thinking that influence the decision-making process. Try to pay attention and remember what factors are inherent to you personally, so that during the decision-making process you can recognize them and abstract them.

  • Search for supporting data. A person collects only those facts that influence the reinforcement of his own conclusions, while completely ignoring contradictory information.
  • Inconsistency. Inability to act in a single direction when faced with a similar situation.
  • Conservatism. The inability to quickly change your opinion and understanding of a person or situation, even in the presence of new facts about them.
  • Novelty. Inability to consistently solve problems, since recent events occupy a more important place in the mind than past ones.
  • Availability. The tendency to consider easily accessible facts relevant and valuable, when truly valuable information is ignored.
  • Selectivity. The tendency to assess a situation based solely on one’s own experience and personal factors, based only on one’s position in life.
  • False interpretation. The tendency to consider success as the result of one’s skills and knowledge, and to blame other people or circumstances for failure. Such a vision does not allow a person to learn from his own mistakes and quickly gain life experience.
  • Underestimating the situation. The tendency to build unjustified illusions and show excessive optimism contributes to the construction of unrealistic forecasts of the future, which act as factors influencing a decrease in personal effectiveness.

Learning to make informed decisions - 3 strategies


A modern classic of management, Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg believes that there are specific ways making decisions, the choice of which is influenced by both the specific situation and the specified individual factors.

  1. “I do” means the process of making a decision without lengthy deliberation in an emergency situation, if the decision needs to be made quickly, but there is no time for the thinking process. In such situations, a person tends to make a decision using ready-made attitudes and options from past experience. To do this, you need to be able to extract this useful experience from experienced situations, working on negative thinking tendencies.
  2. “I think” is a traditional way of making a decision in Western culture. Here this process is carried out using a certain logical algorithm of actions, which includes:
    • statement of the problem or goal;
    • collection of information;
    • clarifying the goal;
    • selection of performance assessment parameters;
    • development of alternatives;
    • analysis and comparison of different options;
    • assessing the consequences of different possibilities;
    • decision making.
  3. “Seeing” is an intuitive way of making decisions that manifests itself as a kind of illumination or insight. This method is the most correct if you need to make a very important life decision, because the answers to all important questions are stored in a person’s subconscious; you just need to be able to use your capabilities correctly. In Gestalt psychology, there are 4 stages of the decision-making process using intuition:
    • Preparation begins with collecting information, both at the level of thinking and including the emotional aspect;
    • Incubation means a kind of meditative state, special concentration on a problem with the aim of deeply understanding and feeling it;
    • Insight is the result of incubation, when that same insight occurs, and a person, with the help of deep meditative introspection, quickly realizes how to make the right decision;
    • Checking the correctness of the decision made.

Video about how our brain makes choices:


Of course, the process of making a successful decision includes many factors, but the most important of them is the availability of time for competent and deep understanding of the choice at all levels. If you want to know how to learn how to make decisions in any situation, you should use the following tips:

  • Take time to reflect. In the old days, the sages retired to long time in a secluded place if an important decision had to be made. Time is needed in order to realize how important this choice is for you and what consequences it may entail, so as not to act impulsively and thoughtlessly, because, unfortunately, a person often realizes the fate of a choice only after making it.
  • Feel the situation. Often a difficult choice acts on a person as a stress factor, which creates a feeling of impasse and hopelessness. In this case, you should let go of heavy thoughts and try to trust own feelings. We are not talking about fleeting, changeable emotions that should never be trusted; here you need to listen to your inner voice. For most people, reviving such feelings is not easy, so you should create special conditions that affect the effectiveness of decision-making: light candles and sit in silence, sit comfortably and focus your attention on some subject. The ways to create such an atmosphere are very individual, you can experiment and find your own way to achieve insight.
  • Check the truth of your intentions. If you are faced with the process of making a serious decision, make sure of its true importance. Confidence in the right path is felt as a feeling of internal agreement, when there is no internal discomfort and the desire to “run away” from the problem. If the decision is thoughtful and mature, then the feeling of doubt does not arise. If you feel heaviness, depression and some confusion, then you should postpone making a decision for a while so as not to regret what you did in case of probable failure.
  • Understand the cost of your decision. Any decision is a certain choice, which brings with it new opportunities along with the need to give up something. Before making a final decision, you should evaluate how important new experience is in comparison with the past, whether it is worth losing something important on the way to new discoveries and achievements. Try continuing this phrase: “Now I will never...”. This exercise will help you, on the one hand, to understand everything important factors past experience, and on the other hand, will give you courage and strength to take responsibility for your future. Understand that everything in life has its price, you just need to learn how to set your own priorities correctly.
  • Breathe life into your decision. To make a decision meaningful and significant, you need to charge it with a certain type of energy. There are two options here. In the first case, you choose one of the solution alternatives that does not suit you and promises a negative ending, and imagine the saddest scenario. Tell yourself: “If I do this, then all my life I will blame myself and worry because...” and list everything negative consequences. In the second case, you should try to imagine all the most positive aspects of your possible choice in the future. In this way, you will quickly help yourself become more confident in the correctness and firmness of your intentions.

The German psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, in his brilliant work “Escape from Freedom,” argued that every decision is dictated not by internal beliefs, but by a person’s fear of isolation, which pushes each of us to follow public opinion, muffling the voice of true motives. That is why every decision you make must be made on the basis of deep conviction coming from the depths of your inner space.

The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the 14th century. I composed a lot of things. But he was remembered by posterity for his parable about a donkey who died of hunger because he couldn’t choose which one was better to start with from two identical armfuls of hay. Don't we also look like such ass when we try to make an important decision?

Our expert - psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.

From early childhood until the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: blue dress or red? Which fan would you prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: to a prestigious university or where it is easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so - in everything. I really don’t want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really important things!

A million torments

It’s easiest in this regard for fatalists and people who don’t care. You float according to the will of the waves - where fate will steer you, and you don’t know trouble. Whichever dress hangs closest is what you should wear. Which of the suitors will be more persistent will marry him. Whichever employer shows more interest will get it. People with developed intuition also have a good life, as well as those who consider themselves such, and therefore are convinced that their choice is always infallible. Everyone else suffers, doubts, despairs and wonders how global decisions can be made, relying on ephemeral intuition or the blind will of fate! However, it is precisely this approach, condemned by many, that, according to psychologists, often contains great life wisdom. After all, it’s impossible to calculate all the possible developments of events, so sometimes it’s better to just trust your sixth sense or even rely on Russian chance. And then act according to the circumstances.

But before you take the final step, it would be nice to weigh everything carefully. And only if, after much thought, the answer does not come by itself, then you can use your intuition or take risks.

Comprehensive approach

There are many rational methods decision making. For example, there is a well-known psychological technique: write down the pros and cons of this or that choice on a piece of paper in two columns, and then use a simple mathematical calculation to decide which one is more profitable. There is a more advanced way. It is called "Descartes square". This method of decision-making is ideal when you need to choose whether to take a life-changing step or whether it is better to leave everything as is. For example, you can resort to this method to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change your job or stay the same, take out a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her for the rest of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to consider the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different sides. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:

  • What will happen if this happens? (The benefits of getting what you want.)
  • What happens if this doesn't happen? (Pros of not getting what you want.)
  • What will NOT happen if this happens? (Disadvantages of getting what you want.)
  • What will NOT happen if this does NOT happen? (Disadvantages of not getting what you want.)

After all, we often consider only the pros and cons of the occurrence of a possible event, but do not take into account the positive and negative aspects"status quo". And a comprehensive assessment allows you to avoid unreasonable risks. And then you won’t have to endure annoying losses that could have been easily avoided. We wish you to make fewer mistakes!

NATA KARLIN

A person, being at a crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What comes after we do or don't do something important? Will it be the end of the world or will peace and harmony reign? Why do we go to extremes? Is there really no middle ground?

WITH early age, every person regularly faces a choice:

Should I wear pants or a skirt today?
with a handsome guy or spend an evening with a smart and interesting admirer?
Should I go to college as a vocation or should I listen to my parents in choosing a profession?
Want to get an interesting or profitable job?

You can continue endlessly! How difficult it is to make the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as the choice of profession or workplace.

There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness of the decision made. One can only envy them.

Fatalists don't give a damn.

This category of people involuntarily. They do not torment themselves with choice, they go with the flow in the direction where the “finger of fate” points. It’s easier for them to reach out, take out what they’re grabbing from the closet, and put it on without thinking. Go on a date with whoever calls first. Go to study at the institute that... Whatever job comes up first, you will stay in that one for the rest of your life. And, in their own way, they are absolutely right! Why torment yourself with unnecessary doubts if life itself will put everything in its place?

Intuition.

There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of their choice. These are individuals with developed. Or those who believe that they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision made. After all, the confidence that intuition will not let them down will not leave them.

But such people are in the minority; the rest are tormented, tormented and doubtful.

When you doubt the correctness of a decision, the “Descartes square” will help

What does a person rely on when he doesn’t know what to do correctly in a given situation?

It is possible to calculate the development of events down to the smallest detail only if you use the theory of probability. And then the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do this. Therefore, by trusting to chance, you can achieve best results than those where a person intends to “swim against the tide” just to prove that the decision was correct.

To learn how to correctly assess the current problem and take the decisive step, use the “Descartes square”.

There are many ways that can show the pros and cons of a decision. For example, you can divide a sheet of paper into two parts. In the first column, write down the advantages that you will gain as a result of the decision made. The second is the cons.

Most effective method is considered to be “Descartes square”. Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which contains a question that requires a detailed answer:

Positive aspects of getting what you want. (What awaits if you accomplish what you planned);
Positive aspects of not getting what you want. (What awaits if you don’t accomplish what you planned);
Negative aspects of wish fulfillment. (What can be avoided if you get what you want);
Negative aspects of not achieving what you want. (What can be avoided if you don’t get what you want).

Answering in each square questions asked, you will quickly come to the right decision. Here you need to evaluate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and make the only correct one.

What influences the search for the right solution?

What is the right decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and the point at which a person will receive satisfaction of his needs and plans (solution). This process involves all components of a person’s personality: mind, will, character and motivation. All this both helps and hinders the right decisions. Assess yourself, try to remember what exactly motivates you at that moment when you need to mobilize all your efforts to concentrate on one task. Sweep away the unnecessary and remove the unnecessary from yourself.

Confirmation.

When searching for the right solution, a person weighs all the components of the expected success. Choose based on the facts, do not be guided by speculation and illusory “what if.” Ignore information that you consider contradictory, look for a rational grain.

Subsequence.

Every action you take to solve a problem must be consistent.

The vector of thinking about the problem should be directed to one point. Take the shortest route, without being distracted by lyrical digressions from the topic.

Mobility.

This refers to a person’s ability to respond to a changing situation. With the emergence of new facts that contradict the decision you have chosen, you should adequately assess the situation and take appropriate measures.

Concentration.

When making a decision that is important to you, it is advisable to abstract yourself from other problems. The brain's efforts need to be directed to specific task, the fulfillment of which depends peace of mind, material well-being or the future in general.

Selectivity.

Choose facts that are truly noteworthy. Discard unnecessary information, do not consider important what is not worth your attention and effort.

Life experience.

When making serious decisions, you should not rely only on your own experience. Consult with smart people, watch shows, look for advice on the Internet or books.

Don't put your abilities first. The successes you have achieved before are a combination of your contribution, the help of others and a happy coincidence of circumstances. Draw conclusions from mistakes, try not to “step on the same rake” in the future.

Concentrate, choose the path you will take to make a decision, calm down and act. In the matter of awareness and development of an action plan, there should not be excessive haste, fanaticism and inflated forecasts about the result. These moments reduce the effectiveness of the process and give victory a bitter taste of dissatisfaction.

3 strategies will help you not doubt your decision

The method of Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg will help you make the right decision. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:

Action.

This process means you don't have time to think. There is a category of decision making that implies that there is simply no time to think. We must act immediately. Then the attitudes laid down by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and the mistakes of other people come into force. To properly evaluate such situations, learn to learn from everything that life throws at you. In a specific situation it often saves.

The process of thinking about a situation for a long time is inherent in representatives of Western culture. It implies an algorithm of the following actions:

And the formulation of the problem;
Systematization of the received data;
Direction adjustment;
Assessment of parameters influencing the result and selection of the necessary means for;
Search for alternative solutions and options for the development of events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of events;
Decision and action.

Intuition.

People who make decisions on an intuitive level are guided by inspiration, which they themselves characterize as a kind of “insight” that came suddenly. It happens that a person for a long time is looking for an answer to a specific question that haunts him. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One fine day, he realizes that there is no problem at all, the solution is already in his head. In the subconscious of every person there is a hidden system of knowledge and life experience. At a critical moment, all body processes are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate the current situation.

There are four stages of decision making on an intuitive level:

Identifying the problem and collecting information about it. This process involves thinking, the emotional aspect, personal experience and environmental influences;
Concentrating all mental functions on understanding the problem in order to feel the depth and possibility of its solution;
Insight (illumination), which replaces reflection;
Double-checking the facts comparative analysis results of developments and final adjustments.

How to make a decision and no longer doubt

So, what is considered the most important factor for good decision making? Of course sufficient quantity time to think, systematize factors, find the right course of action and choose one solution from several possible ones. To learn how to make decisions you will never regret, use the following tips:

Time and place.

Don't act spontaneously in taking important steps. Schedule time when you can be alone.

If you wake up the next morning feeling relieved, go for it! If not, then the solution is not correct, or not the only correct one.

Making a fateful decision. You get the feeling that there is a wall in front of you, against which you have rested your forehead, and there is no further passage. Step away from the problem for a while. For example, go to the cinema to dispel. Distract your brain from the load that forces it to work under time pressure. But as soon as you feel that the feeling of heaviness in your soul has passed, return to the problem with renewed vigor.

Important and necessary.

Think about the necessity of what you are doing now. Is this really of such value to you that it’s worth the effort and nerves? If you are on the right path, then doubts about the need to solve this problem should be dismissed. If not, then you must clearly decide for yourself what benefit is driving you.

Having made a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Once again, evaluate the options for the development of events, compare them with previous experience, remember the mistakes of your friends, and only then proceed to implement the planned plan.

The moment you realize that your decision is the only possible and correct one, you will feel relief. Now everything has fallen into place. It’s easier for you, but you have to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve depends on the accuracy of the sequence of actions.

24 February 2014, 17:25

How to make a decision when in doubt? This is very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string decisions made in the simplest and most complex issues. And each previous decision determines what subsequent new questions life will pose to us and what opportunities will open up before us. It’s strange that the school spent so much time on trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue...

I have several faithful assistants - proven techniques that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques at personal growth trainings, some from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me... by my grandmother.

Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party during the week. She was thinking whether to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus tomorrow morning important presentation. Still, I DECIDED to go. And as a result, I met my love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She has found her happiness and often asks herself what her fate would have been like if she had not gone to that party.

So, the continuation of the scenario of our life depends on our every decision, even the smallest one.

In this context, I like the film with Jim Carrey in leading role Always say YES If you haven't seen this film, I highly recommend watching it. Few people know that the comedy is based on the biographical book of British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the “bachelorette party” scene in a cameo role.

So, back to our main question: “How to make the right decision when in doubt?”.

1st method “Intuition”.

All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know and feel what to do. For example, I I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if this does not help, I use several simple and proven techniques.

In fact, this is folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. They have been noticing certain causes and effects for thousands of years. And they passed this knowledge on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if you have doubts, you don’t know what decision to make, ask the two closest people for advice. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best decision for you.

This method can to some extent be called a consequence of the previous method: if your Angel cannot “reach out” to you with the right decision through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.

3rd method “Descartes square for decision making”.

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or, what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:

  • What will if this will happen? (pros of this).
  • What will if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
  • What WILL NOT if this will happen? (disadvantages of this).
  • What WILL NOT if this will NOT happen? (disadvantages of not getting this).

To make it clearer, you can ask the questions a little differently:

4th technique “Expanding choice”.

This is a very important technique. Often we become fixated on only one choice, “YES or NO,” “Do or Don’t,” and in our persistence we forget to consider all other options. For example, whether to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to take the metro. Because we focus only on the “YES or NO” option, we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway could be buying an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th method Jose Silva “Glass of water”.

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is Jose Silva, who became famous around the world for the Silva Method he developed.– a set of psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of clean, unboiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that requires a solution. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: “This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution.” Open your eyes, put the glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink your water and thank you for the right decision. The solution may clearly “come” immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, as could have been doubted. This is the right decision.

6th technique “Stick to your basic priorities”

The technique is based on the ideas of philosophers Ancient Greece. “Ataraxia” is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the value system. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from not getting what he wants.

The key to achieving happiness is very simple: you need to be happy with what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)

The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values ​​and their basic priorities as follows:

  • Natural and Natural Values like, water and food.
  • Values ​​are natural, but not quite natural, dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having higher education and other similar stereotypical values. You can free yourself from most of these values.
  • Values ​​are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, veneration, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. You can easily say goodbye to these values!

So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and natural values ​​imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Don't think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th technique “Wait”.

When making important and long-term solutions, it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.

Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just have to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed a prime necessity yesterday seems completely unnecessary today. No wonder they say: “I need to sleep with this thought.”

To get rid of emotions, you can use an exercise called “10/10/10”. We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours/10 months/10 years?”

Resume.

You have received the answer to the question, how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision it is important:

  • turn off emotions;
  • listen to intuition;
  • ask advice from 2 closest people;
  • consider other options, expand the choice;
  • evaluate all the PROS and CONS on the issues of Descartes Square;
  • assess whether the decision contradicts your basic principles;
  • if possible, postpone the decision, wait, “sleep with this thought” using the “Glass of Water” technique.

In all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and in your dreams, don't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you are not harming anyone and are not going against your principles.

Don’t be afraid, make your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because “No one stumbles while lying in bed” (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!

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